Notes
- This is a flashfic I wrote as a present for the Zombies, Run! 2021 Secret Santa
- Spoilers for Season 9
- There is an associated playlist to accompany the fic – https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHgFu_kuWAqw-4pS7PR4Ztpf-dYvJKiIB
December 24th
“Ok great Peter, you are on top of the hill, just place the boxes and it should start playing.” Sam calls out over the radio.
Peter sighs, “Why am I here again?” as he gingerly lifts the metal box off the trolley.
Sam replies, “Well Paula and Maxine had Radio Abel plan a massive Christmas present hunt for the children for morale. 5 got the presents in place earlier but we need to get these wireless speakers in place so we can serenade them with festive music on the day.”
Peter sighs again, “That’s what we are doing. That doesn’t explain why I am here.”
“Well, the kids need you”
“No, they don’t, those gremlins stole the last mars bar. I was saving that for after this burn-cube surgery.”
“They aren’t gremlins. They are little runners.”
“Little runners?”
Sam sighs, “It was the only way we could get Janine to agree to it. A training and evaluation exercise for the kids. To get them some experience and evaluating who may be suitable to become a runner one day. Though given how much they run around right now, surprised they aren’t already”
“Do you think you herd cats?”
“Very fair, I could try using a curly wurley?”
“You could try giving me one. It’s on now.”
“No and great, let me just get this playing through the speaker.”
After a moment, a moment a very crackly rendition of I wish it could be Christmas Everyday starts playing.
“Wizzard?” Peter exclaims, “I guess this ok.”
“Looks like it is working.” Sam replies.
“Fine, so where I am going next.” Peter sighs, grabbing the handle and getting ready to start pulling the trolley back down the hill.
“Not far, just up the next hill. We’ll have some runners from New Canton with noise makers to keep zombies away but we’re trying to keep them contained.”
Peter doesn’t respond as he starts to lug the equipment up the next set of hills.
Two hours later
Peter sourly calls out, “Well now I’m wet. Why didn’t you warn me about that pond?
“I didn’t know about it” Sam stammered trying to hit pause on Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree
“Didn’t 5 come across it earlier?” Peter complained.
Sam replied after a moment, “Come to mention it, they did look a bit wet when they got back. I’ll have to amend the route to avoid it tomorrow for the kids. Can’t having them catch a cold.”
Peter sighed, “It’s just this one left” as he scaled the hill grumbling the entire time.
As he reached the top, he slowed, “Sam, where were this lot of presents supposed to be?”
“Red & white box on top of the big stone bench, why’re you asking?” Sam replies offhandedly trying to plot a new route for the kids.
“Red & white you say, like the box that zombie running down the hill has?”
“Zombie? I thought the area was secured.”
“Well, it’s not, because there is a zombie stealing Christmas.”
“Ha kinda like the grinch”
“I guess” Peter replies as he starts charging after the zombie.
“Right we need a plan, what would Janine say.” Sam says, whacking the scanner that finally showed the zombie grinch.
Peter listens to Sam stammer for a bit before interrupting, “I thought we got rid of the fast zombies, how is it getting away from me!”
“I don’t know, wait, I have an idea. Stop”
“Stop?! It is stealing the presents.”
“Yes, stop. We can use the last speaker as a noisemaker to attract it. Then get it to follow you and get trapped in the pond.”
“Well I guess that would work, Ok give me something good.”
As the speaker starts to play Do they know it’s Christmas, the zombie continues to get away reaching the bottom of the hill.
“Obviously they don’t know it is Christmas otherwise they won’t be stealing the presents?” Peter exclaims taking off after the zombie again.
“Hmm let me try this” Sam says as Stop the Cavalry starts playing. The zombie starts to slow looking confused as the barrage of trumpets fills the air. The zombie turns and starts charging at Peter and the speaker.
“I want to say this isn’t a Christmas song, but it does seem to be working.” Peter yells back into the headset as he does an abrupt turn back up the hill. “God my thighs are burning. I want one of your curly wurleys for this Sam.”
As Peter crests the hills, the song shifts, as the zombie closes in, to Last Christmas. “This song isn’t very encouraging. I’m not giving that zombie my heart.”
“Umm yeah, maybe Slade would be better?” Sam says changing the track to Merry Xmas Everybody.
“Well at least I’m not thinking you want me eaten now” Peter exclaims.
After leaping a log trying to buy a few precious seconds between him and zombie, Peter hears Sam warn “Ok right the pond is about to come up, look for a nearby branch you can jump up onto. If you toss the speaker into the water, it should just follow straight into it.”
Peter frantically looks around, before launching forwards at a small oak tree scrambling up the branches. Lobbing the speaker into the water, he sees the zombie charge past and into the water frantically flailing hopelessly. The presents fly safely landing nearby.
“What happened?!” Sam asks nervously down the radio.
“Well somehow that worked. Maybe 5’s mysterious luck has finally rubbed off on me.” Peter exclaims in relief descending the tree.
“Oh, that’s great to hear. Can you just bring the present back here? I’ll send someone out to get the zombie later, but it’s probably not safe to use that hill.”
“Ok” Peter sighs as he starts off on a jog, “But my legs are killing me. I expect that curly wurley when I arrive, or this present is mine.”